Truth

What happened to that? What happened to telling
the truth all the time? Is that word invisible now?
Did it get deleted out of the dictionary? I don't get
why people have to hide little things and can't just
own up to the truth. Even if you don't own up to the
truth, you know that the other person will find out
on their own somehow. People think that they won't
get figured out sooner or later.

Today was going good. Until I found out something
in B4. Which is really going to ruin me for my entire
high school life. I was really hurt. I couldn't control
myself. I had to cry. You really don't know how much
you mean to me. Then you have to hide it from me.
I feel like I'm being used. It's really terrible. I hate
myself for this. If I treated him better this wouldn't
have happened. If I didn't choose to go to that school
this wouldn't have happened.

I just feel really horrible. This feeling is not going
to go away that easily. All I can do is just lie to
everyone and put on that fake smile of mine. I
hate this...

This is all my fault.

Internet

Why can't we buy stuff off the internet more easily?
It's so hard to buy the stuff you want off of it. I want
a ton of things online but they're either in another
continent or something. I really want a credit card
so I can't buy all these stuff that I want.

So I was talking to my friend on aim about online
products. I was asking her, "What if you spend money
on the internet but don't pay for the bills and run off
to another country?" Then she explained to me all
these complicated stuff. Every little thing I ask like
"What if you have a new name?" "What if you get a
new social security?" "What about flying to another
continent?" All those silly questions. And she has
answers to all of them. Lawl. Its so complicated when
you don't pay your bills and run off to another continent.
But I would never do that. (:

So today in our school it was another theme week of ours.
Today was Wacky-Tacky Wednesday. One of my friend
tried to dress up as one of the fobs, but instead he ended
up like a nerd more then a fob. Lawl. Which was okay
cause he looked so funny. :D With his pocket-protector
full of pens and pencils. Lawl. And him wearing sandals
with socks, which was weird, but still cute. Today wasn't
as spirited as the first theme week we had. The tacky-ness
of the first theme week we had was way beyond tacky.
It's so fun just to see what people would wear.

This morning, when I got to school to see my friend dressed
up as a nerd, I just sat at the table. Then when he got his
breakfast he ate it so fast. So he left me again without
saying bye. So then one of his friends asked me if I wanted
to play Tekken with his PSP because he was linking with
another one of his friends, so we could battle. Which was fun
of course. I was so close to beating him. I love Tekken. The
funnest game when you get into it. :D

Well that is all I could think of for today. I will be blogging

another day.

-n a n c y

Taiwanese Dramas

Well I was watching a Taiwanese drama called "Love Queen".
I absolutely love it. It is the most cutest drama ever. Well I
was watching episode 19. When Jia Xin finds out everything
that Shao Tang does for her. While I was watching it, I wanted
to cry. It was so touching and sad. At the end of the drama when
Jia Xin tells Shao Tang everything, I think of myself. I think of
what had happened 2 months ago. I just think and think and
wonder. I wish my life was a Taiwanese drama.

The reason I love "Love Queen" so much is because I can
relate to it. My life is sort of like "Love Queen". I have friends
that are like sisters I never knew I had. I had a love one who
was kind of exactly like Shao Tang. I went through problems
that no body would know about because I would keep everything
to myself. Watching "Love Queen" is the best thing I can do in
my spare time. Which I have a lot. I really can't wait until episode
20. While I was watching episode 13, which they only said there
was 13 episodes, but I guess they extended it because it was so
good.

Genie Zhuo is the cutest girl ever. When she cries in "Love Queen"
I just want to cry along. Which is weird I know. (: But its just so
sad when you see her cry.

Well enough talking about "Love Queen", I'll just blog about my
day.

B1 French. Well the teacher is getting more annoying then ever.
That class is boring me now. All the people in it is super boring.
Well almost all of them. Maybe like one person is not boring.
I've been getting sidetrack in that class a lot lately. But oh well.

B2 Web Mastering. It was like always. The teacher was looking
at who uploaded their web page. So he checked all the people who
uploaded it. He stumbled across mine and started to talk. Which
was a good thing. (: He liked how I complimented my banner with
my background. And then he started to talk about the picture I had
on there. It was a picture of Rilakuma, his friend was dressed up as
a bunny and there was a little chicken on the side. He was asking
the class if that was a bear dressed as a bunny. Lawl.

B3 Health. It was boring as usual. It got interesting near the end
of the class when the coach started to talk about his personal life.
All the guys in the class was wondering what his fiance looked like.
Lawl. Then the coach talked about how his fiance cooks for him.
Then this one girl said that he'll need to start working out. Then
some guys were like "Ouu coach. Shes calling you fat". Lawl.
But then she said that married men usually get fat after they
get married. But I don't think that's true.

B4 English. We had new seating charts. ): It was not cool. Now I
can't talked to my friends! ): But at least one of my friends kind
of sits near me. While the other one is like half way across the
room. We are starting on Romeo and Juliet. All we read was the
chorus part then we went to go finish up the Odyssey movie.
Where we started was not the right place cause when the bell
rang, the place that we stopped at was the same place we stopped
at last class period.

Well that is mostly my day. It was alright. I really can't wait for
episode 20 of Love Queen! Blog it later<3

-n a n c y

Letting It All Out

Well since this is a blog of my rants, and confessions
and about my days, I"ll just start confessing a little.
My life has been turning around on me. I loved life
back then but now I just feel like crap. I don't know
the reason of me even existing. There is nothing in
life for me. I lost everything. I lost my friends, my
family, and my love. Well I regained my friends
but its not really the same. I'm starting to lose my
family and losing my love is the worst part ever.
I've been having second thoughts about everything.
I even thought about suicide. But I know that is
a really stupid thing to do. Its not like I can be reborn
into this life so that was a really stupid thought I had.

I love my friends but I feel like they don't understand
what I'm going through. I can tell them everything
but some things that I tell them it just seems like their
all like "Yea. Okay. So what?" I love them and all
but they just don't understand sometimes. I really
need someone to talk to. I think I found someone
but it seems like he's going to criticize me. But then
again it doesn't seem like he will.

My family is starting to fall apart. I know most family's
fell apart already but they were there for me through
my whole entire life. Now they're just going to leave me.
I can't tell my family anything since all my cousins are
fobs and my other cousins are like out of the country or
in another state. I really can't tell them everything since
they're family and they'll just start spreading it. So yeah.

My love life has been ruined also. I really can't take it anymore.
I really want to transfer but he keeps threatening me of
never talking to me anymore. And saying that I'll be
nothing to him if I do transfer. I really can't take it anymore.
I can't just stay there and see him everyday with some other girl.
Nobody really understands what I'm going through. Everyone's
just thinking "Oh yea, he's just a guy who cares." Well they don't
know what I've gone through to be with him. All my friends
turned their backs on me cause I was with him. Everyone
hated me cause of that. I went through everything with him.
I told him everything about what was happening at home and
he helped me through everything. I can't just let him go. I know
that I should since he already let me go a long time ago. I really can't
stand just staying at school anymore. Seeing him hurts me
deeply inside. Everyday I want to break down and cry
until my eyes are cherry red. But I know that I can't always
break down and cry in school. I just have to wait until that 2:30 bell
rings and go to home cry my eyes out. I can't stand it seeing
him everyday just being the happiest he can be without me.
I really can't handle anything anymore. Every time I see
him smile, I think that when we were together, I didn't make him
smile like that. It was some other girl that made him smile like her
never smiled before. It really hurts just being there.

I hate everything about my life. I'm not even sure if my best
friends are going to be there for me in my whole life. I'm
scared of people leaving me. I really hate this feeling.
I really think that everyone in my life will eventually
leave me. I really can't take anything anymore. I just
get hurt every time I talk to someone.

I guess this is how life is suppose to be. I'll just keep living
this life until I wither and die. I really hope that some
miracle will make all my wishes come true. But I highly
doubt that they will come true. That is all my confession
right now. Maybe I'll confess another day. Well for now,
I guess it is farewell to all you readers.

-n a n c y

Moo

Well today was a weird day. It started out okay
but then it went down hill. Well I'll tell you about
yesterday first.

I liked A1. It was fun. Theres this
guy in there and he makes my day. He is like the
most weirdest guy ever. We talked about how he
wanted a certain hairstyle and I was persuading
him on getting all these other crazy hairstyle
but he didn't agree because he is so picky. (:
But that's okay.

We had to take our Career Technology
pictures for A2. I didn't know I was in that club.
I didn't even know there was a club for that.
Lawl. Oh well. The gym is so freaking damn
cold. D:

A3 was pretty boring. Nothing to say in that
class.

A4. Ohmygawd. That teacher is so freaking
weird. But hes cool. He was talking about
the election. It was so random.

Well now its time for today.

B1. It was okay. I was so bored that I
started to draw pictures for people today.
I got an idea from Soompi so I drew a
picture from that. It turned out super cute!
French is the most easiest language ever.
Well in my point of view. But my teacher
treats us like 5 year olds. Which is horrible.
Oh well. At least she can teach instead of
being lazy.

B2. I had to finish my web page. It was
so hard to look for a vacation spot. Theres
so many places to go so I just randomly
chose something. Then I had to make
a nameplate. Which was fun because I
finally got to make something of my
own. I made it look super cute! It was
pink. The guy sitting next to me was like
"Wow. You must like Hello Kitty alot cause
that looks like it should be on there." Hee.
At least I know its cute. ^^

B3. We had to go to the Dallas Challenge thing.
It was okay. We didn't learn much. All we learned
about was lying. Then we watched a freaking
nasty video. It was all bloody and stuff. I can
watch it but I didn't feel good today so I felt
like puking when I was watching it. Maybe when
we go back I can watch the whole thing without
looking away. I'll be better then. (:

B4. This class always cheers me up. I love the
people in it. But today was a pretty boring day.
My friend asked me to draw her something so
I didn't really listen in class. It was boring anyways.
So I rather draw than listen to the wolves in the story.

Well that is pretty much my day. It wasn't very
interesting. But oh well. I still need to do my
project. D: Sucks. Well I will be updating sooner
or later. So byebye!

-n a n c y